Happy Eighteenth..

Birthdays are a big thing? It's a symbol of how much others care about u n how one means to the world. Thats how I see it, but I'm sure you all have your own extravagant descriptions or definitions on how birthdays should mean.

My thanks first goes to my sweetheart for being so thoughtful and arranged with my brother that i have a birthday barbecue. Felicia dear, thank you so much. This all wouldnt have happened without you. Despite having exams you still showed u cared and thus not being able to come, I hope u really know that you gave so much. =)

Thanks also to my brother for hosting the entire thing both the planning and execution. Like he said " i worked my butt off ". Tho i'm pretty sure his butt's still intact. I'm especially thankful for the birthday cake i got from Mom, Sean and Kevin. Thanks mom and dad for the big budget you were willing to spend to make it a happy day for me.

My gratitude goes to those who wished me (be it face to face or through facebook and friendster) and also those who even thought to get me something. This includes those who came that day too..

18 years is a big checkpoint. Thank you everyone. I can never forget this. =)

A heart's symphony, My heart's battlecry..

Emo-ness has been very dear to me lately. Perhaps im playing tricks on my self? Perhaps signs are just really telling me what i believe they are. We cant really tell for sure. I for one don't make assumptions. I prefer to know, bad or good, knowing is always at least something. Bad or good..mm. Why was it that I wrote good as the latter? Is it I who subconsciously take things negatively or is it just human nature to jump to such conclusions. Some say the best judge is your ownself. But I, to fathom such a catastrophe as the life i believe i am leading to is just..unfathomable.

I dread 2012. Would she really be away overseas?

Depression. Such an odd word. Even to write such a word seems to amount to real depression. How can a man so happy which others believe he to have everything, some of which are imposible dreams? How can certain men commit suicide? despite having wealth and even maybe...love. But i believe people are too fast to assume. Conditions are often judged and disected superficially. What if the man just had such a big fear of losing all that he has, his beloved, that led to the abovesaid depression? Would that make sense to you?

With this if i may quote "The higher you fly, the harder is the fall"

RCYU#3 AGM 2008 and random Going-Ons

St Joseph's Red Crescent Youth Unit #3 held their Annual General Meeting yesterday on the 6th. It went as planned to say the least. And spontaneous unforeseen speeches and "new" awards were given out that day. Things have changed from what I once knew. People grew up, at least some of them. Things run differently too but changes can be for the better. Its up to them to think of it and the best to judge are themselves. Everyone was happy that day and "traditions" are still being performed year to year. Good to hear.=p

New head section leader, Brandon Siong. Just to tell you, you gave a good speech and if you can keep that attitude and work ethic as then, the unit may survive yet another year. Good luck with it all and as our motto goes, To Serve.







Here are the various representatives.=) In the picture, St Teresa, Kuching High, Lodge, Green Road and the very well known Mr. Andrew, Acting OC of Youth Units in Kuching.

Brandon Siong will be the next in-line to be printed into the school's Head Section Leader plaque.(im prolly just finding an excuse to have my own name up this blog but oh wells =p. if you don't get what i mean..um 2006!)

Just incase you ask(which u most prolly wouldnt even come to think of even if you had a million guesses), yes i got myself a new bed!! a Divan to be more precise.. And it even has an under bed installed! So if you need a sleepover you know who to ask.... Not me!! i want both for my own.=) Anyway il still show u at the least.

My bed and my brothers at the further end.

On a totally separate note, my brother Sean Tan got into his first road accident. Several days after getting his 'no-more P license'.

Heeheehee. IRONING BOARD!:D

To an Angel in Disguise

This is to you, my sweetheart, my love, my happy ever after.

All I ever want is to care,
For this love that we share,
And dream fondly of you,
As our hearts join us two,
For every breath i take,
That's how much love we'll make,
We will share this feeling forever,
And live it like tomorrow come never!


I love you.^^

Victories won

Big things start slow. Big events get planned out much earlier. The topic in mind is Red Crescent. My affiliation, pastime for the pass 9 years? Back to the post,and for this particular one, time has been much of an obstacle. There was this marching competition held recently at Green Road. St Teresa and St Joseph were the favourites! woohoo! not Kucihng High(note that typo was left uncorrected).

From left to right : Felicia (commander), Cherie, Vianney, Nurel, Esther, Maryann, Edna.

St Teresa led by the one only beautiful Felicia Bateman wearing a Felicia B. on her uniform. She had found out about the competition about say 3 weeks bfore the date? Alot of time u might say. But her exams had just started..that ate two weeks. 1 week to go?hmm. not so, she had to commandeer her camp which eventualy was a success like in everything else she does.=) so that left her with 3 proper days for the competition. Practice and practice. The big day came... still more obstacles came stacking on. The competition grounds were rerouted for her group, the space was extremely too small! But she kept at her best. The best of commanding you'd ever have your ears listen to. Everything possible was done, new gloves were bought, whistles fully equipped, shoes and socks completely synchronised, berets shaved and ironed, and and and marching skills honed to perfection! im so proud of u all!

St Teresa in action!

The results came in, but Kucihng high(sorry lorh..) got first this time. St Teresa, though favourites were 1st runners up. It was later found out that the margin was slim..super slim. Kucihng high(hmm..) may have won the competition, but you have won my heart, for efforts you have put in, to me you all are winners to have just joined the competition. The best uniform had ur name on it all along. You all gave Kucihng high(im getting used to typing that) the best fight and it was a great performance!! Go Felisha! i mean i mean..Go St3? =P

A simple Declaration

I have been having a hard time recently battling it out with my own thoughts.

Perhaps I am just too sensitive a guy but even so I feel bad cause I want for you to be able to hold on to me. I wanna be your pillar of support, your pool of strength. I have been going against what I have always believed in myself and fo that I have been slacking. Will try to be strong again, for I see you as a new beginning and my only end. I only want whats best for you and anything that goes against you or hurts you goes the same to me. You will always be a part of me. You are my angel in disguise. I want you more than anything in this world. I am an egoist, I am naive, I am selfish, I am mean. But I love you. It is the sick who need curing.=)

Life gives you as much as you bring into it.
It's not the number of years in your life that counts, but by how much life you have in your years.

Here are some random photos to feed your eyes.



One really huge lemon.









Thats one pussy-cat.

Horoscopes, "A look at the hours"

Horoscopes are the study of simply relating astrological aspects to that of a person's life, love life, character, compatibility well really anything! And certain people's lives simply revolve around them. Considering there be only 12 zodiac signs, is it safe to assume that humans are diversified to a relatively small choice of 12? 12 characters, hmm now that would make a great football team! Each with their own strengths, characters and styles and number 12 being the manager! But thats beside the point here. Just an idea.=)

I once had a huge liking for astronomy and astrology. People often get them mixed up anyway. So this topic of horoscopes pretty much boggles my mind. So this is just my POV and im searching for answers. A friend of mine is one strong believer of horoscopes. How can you tell which horoscopes to believe and which not to? He simply replied, "he just knew". We could connect easily. Share ideas and perspectives, thoughts and emotions. Just recently he told me that Libra(I) and Gemini(him) blend well with one another. And to support his point, we had another quiet friend who was an Aquarius, Aquarius had been noted to be quiet and peaceful beings. Is there any statistic to prove this point? In my opinion, choosing a "trustworthy" horoscope source can simply mean i read what i want to, i like it, i believe it. This leads to the second point of discussion that is, if one observes certain horoscopes particularly in the daily papers one would notice the simple vagueness in each one of them.

Myth or belief? Can this be the start of who knows.. a new religion?

5A Class Reunion...and a little more.

Many thanks to Graham AND Marcel for our reunion was a clear cut success. With just enough icing on the cake to make the night one to remember. But we'll get to that in a jiffy.

Exza. The food depot. Food was slow - they had only one chef! Prices were okay. Fish and Chips and a glass of orange juice for RM18. Friends were just wow! Nostalgiaa...Nose-tall-geeah!
pictures..everyone wants pictures.ALRIGHT!


a group photo of the lot. eh only 20? wheres the missing one? moving on.. here's another similar shot. im the significant spot-the-difference among both pictures.

courtesy of graham's attempt to mess my hair.:P. mind u!

And proof of showing that guys aren't afraid to show some love! theres more xtreme ones. But i don't want anyone fragging my brog now do I?=O

Right. Getting to the icing of the cake, there were two distinct occurrences. Both cases would stay anonymous. P & C ya'll. First one, someone had hit a parked camry! Second one, someone had been stopped by police for his/her Fast & Furious stunts! haha obviously it's a he since there wasnt any girls. Sorry for the lack of spice on both stories. Hey,I did say it was pnc lah.LAH!

And and.. the night cant end without narcissism! A lil vanity of moi~~:p

Taadaaa. the perfect post(pose?NOWAY). Take it easy fellow mateys.=)

Lesson one. Money talks.

my wallet isn't with me anymore. it may never return.
the story goes like this. i was up late watching euro Germany against Turkey. snoozing only after 5. Ignorant me had forgotten I'm scheduled for 8am riseandshine for business studies at SEGi. and so i got up and ready, not foreseeing what so small turned pretty much utter mayhem.havoc.

I recalled taking the wallet by hand -8:50am-. Arrived at SEGi college and noticed wallet wasn't with me as mom's car drove for the exit -9:00am-. So i thought to myself, must've slid off and is still in the car but just in case, i made a fox scan of the area. nope. no black wallet in sight. -9:05- Messaged mom, mom replied that there was none to be seen.
-12:30, lunch-break- Made a quick break for the exit and dashed to mom's office! wait. Nah it hadn't been that dramatic. i took a 'peaceful' stroll of breathtaking exhaust fumes and splattering asphalt. Nostalgia kicked in. The good ol' days.
Well wallet wasn't to be seen since. Drove back home and ransacked the crib. No wallet. As of now I'm still hoping i can have my very own knight in shining armor. Heck I'm willing to play Cinderella to see my wallet again.

The contents?
1. Identification Card
2. Driving licence
3. Sarawak Club Membership Card
4. Sarawak Club Parking Access Card
5. Maybank ATM card
6. RM480++

Laugh. i deserve it, don't i? it's high time alright.=/

Fatherly figure

Today is father's day. Father's day is today. why do i keep doing that? Nevermind. thats beside the point. This post is for all fathers out there! And this post is for my daddy too. not that he blogs. haha. who knows one day he'll start and see what a son i'm being!=)

this was our dinner. simple but yummy. home cooks best. black pepper steak, fresh mushroom soup, um potato cheese balls, coleslaw and tortellini. that was what we had served. And oh ya, daddy had a special sandwich made just for him. special just means huge.=p here's pic>>
with my dad too. and my mom(hand). it looked more ghetto burger-ish to me. haha. later that day, Kev flew in from KL with his gift in collaboration with AirAsia. bye bye!
happy daddy's day!

life?

the period of animate existence from birth until death. there you have it, the definition of life. and here we all go complicating what ever was so simple once upon a time.

But my life. It is complicated. Just like every other's. I fear a lot of things. i fear him. i fear her. I prayed to be stronger. I get mad. Of course I do. but only because i fear. i fear whats coming is inevitable. But I am only one man, i am only one person, i can only do so much. But i see now that so much just isn't enough. I need to be more than what i am right now. i need to prepare myself so that one day i wouldn't break down and die. well that seems impossible. I'm a mere mortal.

Being too nice has its flaws, people take advantage of you. people may take the things you say for granted. sincerity, honesty, they are all overlooked.

Right now i am dazed. i am confused. my vision blurs, but i still look on ahead. i still give it my very best and i still look like i have much more left in me. but im losing it. this isn't me.

Have mercy on me. Just as Jesus had mercy on his neighbouring criminal. I hope this is not a dying battle. I am not ready.

If you don't get what you've just read. It's better that way.
Happy father's day to all fathers and our high Father above.
And a happy birthday to a friend, who will be turning 18 tomorrow.

Get a mirror. Love that image.

the last few days were stormy seas for me. from an all time high..to rock bottom low. But like many around us quote "it isn't how low you fall, but rather how you get back up from it". And so, i wont take things for granted no more. I will settle for no less. The world isn't perfect, yes, but perfect is just an opinion. the world isnt perfectly round, but isn't it round enough? again enough is also an opinion. there are many more unfortunate people out there. mentally challenged, cancerous patients, people with their own natural problems. these people don't have a choice and we take for granted our own problems as the end of the world.opinion.

dropped my brother at the airport earlier this morning. he left for kl on a holiday i suppose? well i hope he gets me something.. a laptop would bid well.=p u know what? i believe that i have great brothers. all 3 of them. we all look out for each other. we all out each other for look. opinion. My brothers and i, many say we share a similar look. just as many say the opposite. again another matter of opinion. no one is wrong.=p everyone is right.

i miss you!
why am i saying this to you?
So that if I don't wake up
tomorrow you'll know that
my last moment in life was
spent thinking of you!
a certain someone composed this. it may sound simple but does it matter, im no english teacher. instead i think it's suuper sweeet! this is biology! hahah. you make me laugh my heart out. marshmellows.

on a separate note, i wish to make a tribute to great friends. friends who are there when the world bcomes a total blurrr. friends who wouldn't hesitate to help then. friends who make the world a better place.

"You make a life by getting, but you get a life by giving"

and by the way, happy friday the thirteenth. black cats and salt and ladders.

wordly ponder

Each day memories bring a joyous tear
Seeding my love to grow by month and year
For one day you'll accept me dear
Thus cleansing with sweet love my every fear

Hope stands on ends with subtle laughs, a healing ale
For you whom I'd die for, I'll live for
And my heart is yours to love or fail
Give me this and I shan't ask for more

Full moons have whispered once
Clocks run mayhem, I'm an amateur on Broadway
Puppy thoughts no, this is all so true
Life and beyond you are my sun buds of May

martin.

Actus non facit reum, Nisi mens sit rea

The abovementioned maxim is clearly subtle, subtly clear. it simply means that an act alone does not constitute guilt unless accompanied by a guilty mind. But in this post, i simply wish to imply that a desire alone does not fruit. Simple, declare your desire.

Today i've truly understood naivety. a friend of mine today called me naive. foolishly credulous as the dictionary reads. i am naive.. but aren't we all? We[most of us] ask each other everyday "How are you?", when most of the time all we think of is how to avoid a conversation we so subconsciously started at first. Now that is thought but no action. But when we risk our lives and jump the gun to save a pedestrian or a baby from a fire, isn't that an act totally from reflex? we don't think, we do.

So when is it that we can truly think, and later do? A relationship. A loved one. simple as it seems, most of us aren't doing what we plan or most of us do what we never planned. an example, unwanted pregnancies. to me the best you can give in a relationship is yourself. You do small acts of kindness one at a time, a sweet message, a peck on the cheek, a call to say hi(if you can avoid the weird-desperado zone" and you love sincerely. It is that simple.

I recommend reader's digest.

As a starter post to a blog i don't plan to geek up on, i wish you all happy blogging!